"Trying not to hope too hard for what I want."
Maybe it's me- and maybe it's just being human- but I get awfully attached to the plans I make.
"Trying not to go too far with all the dreaming."
And then something happens. Castles in the air, castles made of sand, fall, break, and are washing away...
"Oh, the disappointment so hard to handle."
I mourn the dream which has died- clinging to the sheer knowledge that He holds my life in His hands.
"I'm still in the dark, lighting candles."
I think if I could plan my life out years in advance I would. And yet for all the grand plans I've made- I think I can say that not a single one has worked out the way I had wanted it to.
("Oh, the disappointment, so hard to handle...")
God always has different plans than mine. And his are always, without fail, better than my wildest imagination.
("I'm still in the dark, lighting candles...")
I think the hardest part of doing something other than I planned is explaining to people what happened to their unmet expectations.
"Late at night I lie awake, think I should go / Catch a train to stranger towns / Where no one knows me."
But because He knows better than them- and better than me- I'm taking every dream I ever had and laying each down, a fagot on the pyre of faith... watching them go up in flames.
"Now that I have got somewhere, where will I go?"
One foot in front of the other- I watch God write my life-story. He uses all my favorite plot devices. And he gives me wonderful surprises I neither deserve- nor asked for. Am I so stupid that I forget he knows the deepest desires of my heart?
"Love's a train to city lights / Where someone knows you."
So I'm giving my life- and the future I want- to Him. Again. and Again. and Again.
*Set to the lyrics of Lighting Candles by The Weepies.